Endoftermitis is a well-recognised condition and is compounded at the end of the summer term by endofacademicyearitis. For those children moving onto secondary school the condition can develop into the rather more serious endofprimaryschoolitis. Endoftermitis also affects parents who may display a variety of symptoms depending on their underlying dispositions. Raised voices (let's be honest - shouting), permanently furrowed brows, forgetfulness, increased caffeine intake, an earlier wineoclock, not caring if domestic anarchy reigns, or an exasperating cocktail of it all.
Endoftermitis also affects each child in different ways. We have the full range: No 1 (also struggling with endofprimaryschoolitis) is "greeting" each new day with exaggerated moans and groans and ending the school day with more of the same disenchantment. Best policy is to steer clear and not mind the angrily loud chords flung out by his electric guitar. No 2 (who doesn't quite get the angst of his big brother) is still sunny-natured but has simply switched off and makes no attempt to even pretend that he's listening WHICH IS REALLY REALLY FRUSTRATING to the endoftermitis-afflicted mother!
No 3 tells minutely detailed tales of girly make up/break up shenanigans at school on a daily basis. I attempt to escape but am trailed around by a monologue depicting malicious dealings. My reserves for dealing with all of this in a properly constructive way, gently teaching the rights and wrongs of life, are much reduced. Authors of those helpful child-rearing manuals would probably question my methods!
Thankfully No 4's endoftermitis is manifesting itself with a more positive vibe. He is perpetuating his tiredness by coming alive at night. Recently he horrified/entertained our lovely babysitter by stamping himself and his (previously pristine white) bed all over with a "Fantastic!" stamp when he was supposed to be fast asleep. Best bit was his pleasingly precise approach. Proudly lifting his pyjama trousers (too early the next morning) he showed us two symmetrically stamped "Fantastic!" knees and then with a winning smile he revealed two symmetrically stamped "Fantastic!" nipples!
So with a fair range of endoftermitis symptoms between us, we limp wearily towards the last day of term. Only 3 more school days to go (yes we are most definitely counting) until this seemingly never-ending term comes to an end and we can celebrate. My "School is Out!" CD is all ready to blast out of the car windows as we drive triumphantly away. Endoftermitis will be a thing of the past (HOORAH!) to be replaced with the enormous challenge of us all trying to get along together 24/7 for 6 weeks! I think that's called Summerholidaysseemedlikeagoodideaatthetimeitis!